Therapy FAQs

While there can be a specific reason to seek therapy, it’s not always clear

Perhaps you have got to a stage where you are wanting something to change, or you would like to feel differently. Perhaps something has happened to you and that event plays on your mind. Perhaps you have physical problems, but can’t find an explanation for your symptoms

There are so many situations that are naturally stressful and/or overwhelming, yet many of us feel that they should be manageable and dealt with alone.

Chances are you have understood that crying or finding things difficult shouldn’t be revealed; that you couldn’t possibly be upset because of your privilege; that misunderstanding or making mistakes needs to be shamefully concealed; that life has been so unbearably cruel that it couldn’t possibly be understood by another

Yet, this lack of sharing and self-reliance can lead to feelings of loneliness, resentment and often to an increased need for food, alcohol, exercise, working, spending or screen devices as a source of comfort and retreat

Whatever you are going through, I am confident you do have a valid reason to seek therapy

My aim is to help you discover and address the root of your problem, and not just deal with the symptoms. This means that we are likely to work together for a longer period of time

Much depends on your needs.  However, it is ultimately your decision as to how long you remain in treatment

The psychodynamic approach holds with the idea that for all of us, our present state of mind is influenced by unconscious memories of the past

When something is very difficult or painful we can find ourselves trying to ignore it.  Most of the time we know when we are doing this, but it is likely that some experiences will have been too much for us and unknowingly pushed away.  In either case our present wellbeing will have been impacted, as well as our responses to others

Indeed, early negative experiences can lead to unhelpful patterns of behaviour which might cause our work, family life and relationships to become unsatisfactory, or to keep going wrong in familiar and distressing ways

I am therefore concerned with listening to you, and trying to help you become aware of, and understand, how past experiences are affecting your life now, and the way you regard yourself

It is not unusual to be carrying difficult feelings and thoughts, and it is also not unusual to believe they must not be talked about, BUT it is in the process of talking and being listened to that we can arrive at a different perspective, we can cause a shift in our attitude and we can discover that we have choices. We can become unstuck

Here are several reasons why listening is important:

• when we listen attentively, we show respect to the other person and their opinions, which fosters a sense of trust and rapport in relationships

• listening allows us to see things from another person's perspective, promoting empathy and compassion, and strengthening emotional connections

• in conflict or problem-resolution, listening helps identify the root of the issue, enabling more effective outcomes

• when we feel heard, it can alleviate stress and frustration, leading to a more positive environment for communication and interaction

• by listening to others, we can gain insights, feedback, and new perspectives that contribute to our personal development

In coming to therapy I will listen to you, I will be engaged in what you are telling me and I will work with you to understand you, your situation and, together, we will aim to work through your difficulties

A safe therapy space is important for a number of reasons:

• it will allow you to explore sensitive topics without the fear of emotional or physical harm. This includes psychological safety

• it is a place for you to talk, reflect, rest and be, without interruption from your partner, your children, flatmates, pets and others. It is important that I can understand your point of view. A distraction-free environment will allow us to focus on the therapy session enhancing the effectiveness of the therapy

• therapy often requires us to explore vulnerable feelings and experiences. A safe space encourages us to be open and honest, which is necessary for healing and growth

A convenient, safe therapy space for you might be your home, and I can offer you sessions via Zoom

If you decide to attend in-person, The Practice Rooms in Summertown offer a comfortable environment that will help you feel at ease to open up and engage in the therapeutic process

In this brief, confidential call I will ask you to share a little about your situation and why you are seeking therapy. I will ask you some questions to understand your position and what kind of support you need

I will be working to understand your difficulties through listening to you and, from time to time, asking you some questions. This might involve some moments of silence

We can explore your goals for therapy and what you hope to achieve

We may begin to explore your present circumstances, your background, your relationships, and any significant life events

However, we will work together slowly and gently so that you can share when you are ready to do so

We can even meet for a number of sessions to allow us both time to see whether therapy is right for you

Importantly, you will be able to find out whether I am someone you can talk to without any obligation to continue

I will use the session to establish whether I am the right person to help you

It is common and ok to leave feeling a mix of emotions

No, I work with adult individuals only

Yes. Everything you share with me will be treated in the strictest confidence and will not be shared with anyone without your prior knowledge

In exceptional circumstances, where I am worried that you or somebody connected to you is at risk of harm, or if I am required by a court to share information, then I will discuss this with you before taking any steps to disclose such details

I will provide you with my Privacy Policy

The Practice Rooms in Summertown has disabled access to the building

While there isn't formal disabled access through the front door, there is "informal" access via the therapists’ room and a ramp down from the car park at the rear

There are consulting rooms on the ground floor. The customer toilets are located up half a flight of stairs

Please contact me so we can discuss your needs and to establish whether there will be room availability for you